The soup kitchen is closed.... go home and make your own soup.

==================================================================== Fuckin ey, new post. The briskness starts here. I had the weirdest feeling of nostalgia looking at this blog. *point* fuck you. Sorry I've just being venting my rage lately at random inappropriate times... you bastard. yeah yeah yeah. cant remember what i was gonna write about... Yeah i'm gonna start posting again. freakin ey. I'm not going to start right now but soon.... >:O+<-------<>

Narp

Yeah I know I said this would be the 100th post, but its actually the 99th. Sorry to disappoint you Thanh. Ummm end of school is getting closer which means soon I will need a full time job. One of the best things about September is that it is when all the big day out rumors come out. So allow me to make some rumors of bands that will play at the festival

• Sonic Youth
• Neil Diamond
• Radiohead
• Group X
• Rage Against the Machine
• TV on the Radio
• Alestorm
• Journey
• Bad Brains
• The Mars Volta
• Supergrass
• Weezer
• Yellow Pudding?

Yeah as if you didn't see that coming? Ah what have I been up to lately. Well I've been studying for the exams, I'm not all that worried though. I went to Robyn's party last friday. I went as The Smashing Pumpkins (I smashed a pumpkin in her front lawn). Yeah these holidays have been pretty boring for me, I haven't really been out much, probably cause I haven't even tried planning anything. Oh well what can you do?

You could wake up missing your underpants, or a kidney.

(story of the week) Yeah its pretty late right now, but I'm sure all the apes are running out of their caves and getting to the nearest Internet Cafe, so they can read this post and drink their Mocha Lattes. Yeah, I had exams last week, yeah it was pretty gay, it was like gayer than two men having sex. So anyway, the GAT was today, thus making today the most pointless excuse I've ever had to go to school. It made me so mad I wanted to punch a fucking lama. So here's some other highlights I've had:

• Captured an Asian in a cage. Yes, it was Thanh.
• Plans are going ahead for the next marathon, its gonna be rad
• I de-boned Gavin so I could put him in my puppet theater
• I turn 18 next Monday, hard to believe yes?
• Marty stole a loaf of bread from a deaf guy, whose he going to tell?
• "Tess" got kicked in the head by Thanh
• Told someone to get off my case
• Listened to Radiohead
• Played fire tennis
• Wrote a play
• Marty jumped his motorcycle over the school
• DD got a fist to the head for doubting my abilities
• Lit a sheep on fire and sent it down the hallway
• Bushby used the N-word
• Fought a gorilla on the top of a building
• Called the office lady a bitch
• I released locust into Mr Bushby's car
• We made plans to turn Mr Bushby's car into the "Bush-mobile"
• Became a yo-yo champion
• I made a new fragrance, burgundy and cider for men
• I Read to deaf kids
• I burned down the orphanage, it was haunted I had no choice
• Jim still hasn't gone ape on me, its been like 2 years since he said he would. I still check under my bed every night.
• I sleep with a loaded gun under my pillow, but just to be safe I point it up towards my face as an incentive to not accidentally fire it.
• My doctor writes me any prescription I want.
• Hehehe a monkey reading the paper.
• Smashed a kids sand-castle
• NEXT POST IS POST # 100
• Wrote these highlights

• Song of the week>// I dreamed I dreamed// Sonic Youth// Sonic Youth [Bonus Tracks]

P.S: Look forward to the next post, issue #100.

Theres gonna be a blood bath

Whats this 2 posts in one week? I guess so.

HA HA You got the plague!!

That video was a montage of my life. I don't care who you are, I reckon I could take your mum in a fight. I'm smiling right now, there something transcendent about writing on a blog, maybe its the font, or maybe its because I get to write the highlights of my week.

• Seth told me to get fucked
• I drove the apes to the back of the oval with a Shovel
• Shaun made a movie called "Nigger versus everyone" The title pretty much says it all
• I caved Thanh's head in with one punch
• I passed both practice physics exams
• Its my birthday in like a week and a bit
• Guerrilla will be my kids middle name
• Max said he's going to make an adult film with black people on a plane. I told him he should call it "Spades on a Plane"
• I challenged god to boxing match
• Rode my rocket powered scooter up a cliff edge
• Shouted at old people
• Flipped off a blind person
• "Why make fun of the mentally challenged? They already feel nothing"
• Where gonna set up camp outside the school before the end of the year. We'll have sing alongs, a camp fire, and then we'll play the game I like to call "run like fuck when the cops arrive"
• I was yelling at a guy to get out of my way, then I realized he was deaf
• Karate chopped Shaun in the nads
• Brendan: "Do you think that there may be any chance I'll get 100% on my physics exam?" Bushby: "No"
• I made a tractor so fast it can driven on the freeway
• It was Tim's (My brother) Birthday
• I started my dynamite farm
• The school's secret motto "Fuck Rob"
• I thought I was going to be late for school. Then I saw Jacob on the way to school and he said our English teacher was away. So we went to his house and played F-Zero X
• Got some new Drumsticks.... there good
• Told Nathanael I could beat the shit out of his mum.
• Told seth to go to bed, while he was in the middle of a sentence
• My jet pack exploded when I tested it on the neighbor's dog. It didn't even get off the ground.
• Free dress day today. Shouldn't they call it like casual dress day? It's not as though its entirely free when you have to pay. Not to mention you can't wear what ever you want e.g ( Nothing)
• Was colonel Sanders really in the army?
• I don't lick stamps, I spit on them from a great distance. Its more fun that way
• Put a chainsaw motor on a kids bike to make it go faster. Then I cut that little cunt's breaks
• Grimus keeps sitting next to Shaun. Haha She's a monster
• Some cunt almost ran me down this morning in there fookin SUV, they were driving really slow as in, stopping speed. Then she fucking beeps me so I give her the suck my dick pose, I did it for a good 30 or 40 seconds as she waited at the red light down the street, just so she could see me in her rear view.
• Fitton gave some skanks the bird from the top off the 500 block
• Fuck, what a shit week. I need to get a life or something
• I wrote this

Quotes of the week:

• Seth: "It's like grilled meat in a nursing home"
• Brendan: "Mr bushby, your calculator makes me sad" Bushby: "yeah it's the best calculator, which is why I only use it to mark your sacs"
• Bushby: "Yeah, Im a bastard aren't I?"

• Song of the week\\ Bubblegum // Sonic Youth \\ EVOL

"The internet is alot like shooting a gun, just point, click, and then shit your pants waiting for the cops to arrive"

So there I was walking down the street when I see this ape run up to me and kick me in the nads.

I really hope you watched this because its like the funniest thing Ive ever seen.

Its time for my highlights of the week; Todays highlights brought to you by the number "1" and the letter "me"

I kicked peanut kid in the head, and he fell backwards into mound of macadamians.

I shot a lion in the face

I got the special from hong's bakery ham & sandwich

I passed a physics sac

Went to the football with me mates, suck it shaun!

I asked Mark Woods what the hell are you looking at

I laughed at seth when he mentioned Euro-vision

Seth: "Say Brendan you didnt by any chance happen to watch the Euro-vision on the weekend Me: NO!! hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!

Ross flipping me the bird, then saying "oh, you can leave now."

I grew an inward beard

"SUCK IT MARK I HAVE NOODLES"

I bought a Ham Radio and started broadcasting fake news over people's regular radio.

I went on a beer run with George Bush, we got lost and some ended up at Guantanamo bay

I went hunting with Dick Cheney, I'm still missing part of my ear

Had a picnic on an artillery testing range

The apes returned from behind the back of the oval, riding Mopeds and swing flaming maces

Like god punching a deer, so are the days of our lives

Best thing I ever Tim say "It was like god punching a deer" the very thought of an almighty god like figure punching a sweet innocent deer is too much.

"I dont even own A gun, let alone several guns to sufficiently fill an entire rack"

Hammed it up, big time

Marty took on Ghandi in a street fight. It was kind of one sided, not because Ghandi is all about peace and down right pacifist, no. Its because he was DEAD.

I wrote some lyrics down for a song when I was baked. It went something like; Dee derp dee-derp, dee-dippity derp dee dumb"

Played cards against a minator, "no fair how was I suppose to read that poker face, he's got a fuckin' bull head"

Im gonna use my aerospace engineering skills to make a jet plane powered by Bio-fuel, which means it pretty much runs on bull-shit.

I beat the absolute shit out of an old man.

I became master of my of my own domain, only to be usurped by my own right hand man.

Ran through federation square with nothing but a saucepan on my head, screaming "The Russians are trying to steal my thoughts!!"

Started a roller derby in the year 12 corridor

Told Ms Grant to her face that she's nothing but a filthy FUCK. well not as much to her face as, a letter, and I didnt much use those words as much as I drew a stick figure picture of her with stink lines coming out.

I spent 4 hours baking a cake then dropped it off an over-pass, the worst part about it was that it was an accident. I was walking with my cake then tripped, and the cake went over the side. I didnt even get to see it land. I looked down just to see pissed off farmer holding a pitch-fork with cake all over his wind-sheild.

I roasted some chest-nuts

Played Silent Hill (best game).

Changed Adeliade's name to Radeliade, then changed Canberra's name to "Canberra sucks"

Jacob and I played battle ships in physics.

I wrote this

Song of the week Motion Picture Soundtrack// Radiohead// Kid A More Stephen Colbert videos and Jon Stewart Videos

Ummmmm.... yeah?

ahhh... in panic I forget it, in despair I need it, in my mind I keep it, and in death I have it.. Yeah, I just got home from seeing Iron man, it was alright *shaking palm like mental patient* I thought it would have more action and less dialog. So anyway I get home and my mum is watching fucking Gilmore Girls on my PS2, ahhh the rage, just thinking of that show shribbles my testes. So I thought to myself "what the fuck are you gonna do now you fucking cunt?" I think things I'd never say. My fucking computer keeps saying it's being violated, and there's viruses n' shit, and I keep saying continue unprotected, *insert condom joke.* So I've decided to go on my blog and have a bit of a rant about shit that is annoying me. Like school, getting tests in physics about stuff we never learned, fucking useless English shit, prompting questions like "what is reality" who gives a fuck!! What were the VCAA thinking of when they chose reality for topic, I bet they were all like, " let's see if they can write something about this." Nothing is as simple as could be, everyone finds this out the hard way in life, unless your some rich cunt. There was something else I wanted to rant about... oh yeah The Government, I know this is sort of a touchy subject, so you may want to cover your ears as you read this. The mistreatment of Tibet has gone on for too long, make that way way way too much * holding arms really far apart.* The UN should be the ones to resolve this issue, let alone even discuss it... I'm running low on rage, so I'm gonna make a list of things that rage me, while I'm still ticked.

• Body boards, either use a surfboard or don't.
• Anti virus updates
• Humanitarians, that word is way too long
• Soup in a can
• Big Brother, oh my freaking fucking god almighty god. I really wish that show would cancel due to massive fire in which everyone dies.
• The fact that I cant play piano
• Trying to do a double back flip off an over pass and landing in a conveniently placed moving ute with a mattress in the back, to only succeed with ONE flip. (Thats fucking amateur)
• Having some angry kid with a kite follow me and point at me from outside, in the rain, and with the look of pure unadulterated rage.
• Spontaneous combustion, just when you think its over, it flares up again.
• The blood bank. That cookie sucked, I want my blood back!
• Having people burst into tears after I tell them what I think of them.
• Nerds with too much time
• Trying to think of stuff that makes me mad
• When people pay out resident evil
• The fact that laws apply to me
• Mimes, there is nothing funny about them, period.
• That kid down the street who keeps putting bear traps in my front yard, that fucking cunt.
• My english teacher telling me off for dropping too many "f-ing c-bombs" in my essays
• People who show up too school for no reason other to disrupt others from learning.
• When the paper boy keys my car
• People who talk loudly with phones, the person on the other end has their ear pressed against the speaker, you can talk at a normal tone.
• People who block my way on an escalator, it makes me so mad. It just makes me feel like throwing them over side.
• Gun restrictions. It makes me want to go on top of a clock tower, or maybe a bell tower and just start picking people off with my high powered rifle as they go by their day.

• I'll end it on that note

Song of the day: In the Kingdom #19// Sonic Youth// EVOL